Makes you wonder

promise food and aid

they promised food and aid,
sent it down even in the smallest of band-aids.
these things though have yet to reach
the people who in agony endlessly beseech.
medicine, food, clothes, what they needed most
and those in power fully responded with a-
yes
and a- “no”.

in their thinking, always racist and flawed
they decided to send guns then gauze.

they say barking soldiers will bring order-
(the same ones with post traumatic stress disorder?)

that’s what they say but the truth may differ
because beneath a disciplined military exterior
feelings of hatred and superiority still simmer.
beneath the promise of food and aid
the chess of imperialism is still being played.

Du'a

By now everyone has probably heard about the earthquake in Haiti and the expected loss of life not to mention the number of people who've been injured and have otherwise been left homeless. Make du'a for them insha'Allah. They have been a poor people and have suffered a lot before this due to political situations and corrupt governments. For those who might say this is a wrath of Allah (or God as Pat Robertson types mention) we can say 1. Allahu'alam and 2. if this is so why haven't the nations who've been instrumental in expanding corruption throughout the entire world been visited by these types of devestation? Again, Allah knows best but what we all know is people are suffering and wherever people suffer its best to help in whatever way possible even if the only means is through du'a.

words to exist forever
reversing directions like a lever
sit still physically
while flowing about, moving me.
they’re forever protected, endlessly true
but in a folly those steeped in batil rabidly pursue
attempting to extinguish a phoenix-like flame.
these words are like no other
because no matter how hard they try
it can’t be smothered.
scribes want to twist
scholars want to dismiss
political enforcers order a cease and desist
they can try but they’ll fail.
the one who bought their souls on sale - devil
got them hooked to a tall tale

lies, lies, only lies.

these words are eternal truths
wholly and completely eraser proof
changing lives, changing ways day after day.
its eaters and readers rising to the level of angels
these are words to exist forever
reversing directions like a lever.

devils engineer their greatest designs
it’ll only be a waste of time
because these words, protected, exist forever
and with each attempt made on it, they radiate, melting all fetters...

Coming Back

How can I describe coming back and getting into the mix of things after six weeks in a country that left its charm on me? It’s difficult, well not so much difficult but really it’s a little hard. Anybody who has a home can easily become comfortable because of their knowing the situation they’re in, knowing how to get around, how to operate, basically the ins and outs of daily life. That’s a good thing but, at the same time, the spontaneity, the newness, the learning about a culture and people which inevitably leads to a person learning about their own self, these things bring out so much in a person. It’s true that we can learn a lot while at home but, the level and the amount we learn while we’re away seems to magnify big time. At least in my case it did.

Coming back I realized how much I’ve changed and though it may sound cliché, it’s nevertheless a true thing. Like the size of a tree can be gauged against a mountain or a hill, I’ve gauged myself against people here, people I know, some who may be friends, others who may be acquaintances and still others who I’ve never met but have heard or heard of and gained an insight into their thought. Sometimes this gauging is done on purpose but most times for me, it’s not. And gauging myself against others I’ve seen that my way of thinking hasn’t necessarily changed full circle but has actually gone through a growing phase. What was theory is now a reality for me, what was large is now small. Big issues are minor ones now. Rivers and lakes were big but after seeing the Atlantic they’re a drop of water. Beaches were vast, but after walking, riding and sleeping on the Sahara, they’re sandboxes. I feel as if my eyes have been replaced and I am seeing things in a new life and unfortunately, this is going to lead me to a point of departure with some. Though it may not be a physical one, mentally I may not be there any longer or in full attention. How can one convey an experience? How can a person explain what true poverty is, a poverty where there is absolutely no foreseeable way out? And at the same time, how can one describe the embrace that would be given to a lifelong friend that’s given to a person only known for a week? Most importantly though, how can one explain a community? In a society that stresses the self, the independent self, over and over again, how can it be explained or talked about to give of yourself and to let go of selfish tendencies? Maybe I could try, maybe I could share stories but in the end, from what I’ve experienced, a story is started to be shared and after 2 ½ minutes attention is turned away and before you know it, no one’s listening anymore. How then is insight to be given?

Coming back, I’ve seen what I’ve only thought in the past; that sometimes a person is at home where they are not at home. That is to say, where we are born and raised is considered our home but in the true and fully encompassing definition, it’s not necessarily our home. Where I was, I felt at home, I could in all reality think clearly and function much better than the place where I’ve been brought up. Maybe it was the atmosphere, maybe the people, who knows. One thing is for sure, I did feel more at home there than here.

Things are different here now and business will not be as usual. In fact, business can’t be as usual, this is just a part of life, a growing stage that we enter into. I hope that Insha’Allah my changes and development will be the kind that can enable me to become a better individual for the collective whole and to contribute as much as possible wherever possible. There are some who may travel the world and see everything and their travels which broaden their scope combine with an ego to turn them into cocky condescending types. This is a shame and hopefully this won’t come of me. However, it’s true that once going through life a person changes drastically and actually can experience a social shock when getting back into the social “norms” of their old community. As a lyricist once said

"The world looks a lot different after you do a bid

The way your life done changed

While primitive minds (are) still stuck in the same game"

Trouble in Tangier Part 2

Incommunicado! No way to get in touch with the group and here we were in the middle of Tangier, 45 minutes after our expected rendevous time with the group. We went to both places with no luck and now, there was no way to get in touch with our people. How could we get back, what could we do?  I was annoyed at the situation and getting more and more fired up, a common thing in my life.  My friend thought of options we could take..."maybe you can buy a charger so you can give them a call?"  That was the smartest thing to do, but, I was concerned thinking about the chance that the group might happen to drive by and miss us so I didn't want to stray to far.  We were in the plaza circle at this time and looking turning around to see if any stores were in sight that might sell phones.  As we were scanning the area an old man came up and started talking to us.  "Are you new to Morocco?  You are welcome. You need tour of city?  I make tour for you". 

"Thank you but no, we're lost right now", responded my friend. 

"Lost?"

"Yes, we were supposed to meet with our group and we thought we were going to meet here but they weren't here so we went to another place where they might have been and they weren't there either".

"Who is your tour guide?  How does he look?  I saw a group go into medina, let me take you."

"No, I don't think that was them, we weren't in the medina as a group, we were there separately, we were supposed to meet somewhere else".

"What was your tour guide wearing"?

"He had on western clothes, we didn't really have a tour guide though, he's a director. I don't think it's the same group.  We need to call our director though, my friend has a phone but it's dead and he needs to charge it, do you know where we can charge his phone"?

"Charge phone"?

"Yes, he needs to, do the battery..."

"Ohhh, yes, here, here, here!"

He led us to a shop across the street which also sold telephones, batteries and also had pay phones to use. The old man explained the situation to the shopkeeper, a middle aged guy wearing glasses with a dark thin beard, black with beginnings of salt starting to show.  When he heard he asked to look at my phone which I showed him.  He proceeded to open it and took the battery out, attaching it to a plug in battery charger.  The old gentleman who brought us there told us we should have a seat in the shop next door to the telephone shop while we waited.  I and my friend went there and as I waited for my cola which I ordered we discussed what could have happened.  Did we get around the area too late?  Was there a miscommunication?  Maybe the bus parked somewhere and we didn't notice? While we were talking a thought came to my mind. Something the director said.."Did he say something about a port"?

"I think he mentioned a port but I don't know what about".

By this time around 15 minutes passed and we thought the phone would've been charged long enough to at least have made a call and get an idea of what's going on. We went to the telephone shop and the phone was good enough to call from.  Finally!  I called one assistant director...no answer. I called a second assistant director...no answer. Hmmm...not a good sign.  I didn't have the main director's phone number and so couldn't get in touch with him.  What to do?  I called my roomate's phone number, he was on the bus and could probably get the message sent about our predicament. The phone rang and it wasn't my roomate but the main director who picked up. When we spoke I was told they waited for 30 minutes then they had to leave because they didn't see us.  Hmmm, not good.  I asked "Where did you guys wait for us at" because I was trying to figure out where we should've met at. He continued talking though, I don't think he heard me.  I asked again, he continued talking. Asked a third time and was told it was at the port where they waited for us. So, there, the port was where we were supposed to have waited at. Both of us had the wrong idea of where to be for the group meet. He continued to talk,

"You two need to catch the train back to get to Meknes.  The next train leaves Tangier station at 5:00pm so you have to hurry up because the one after that is going to be at 8:00pm.  It should cost about $200 for both tickets on 1st class if you want to be comfortable and have a seat instead of standing.  How are you two doing"?

"We're surviving".

"Okay.  Just try to hurry up and get that train before it leaves".

We had to catch a train by 5:00pm and the time was 4:45.  Too close for comfort.  We had to leave immediately if we were to avoid waiting another 3 hours.  I told my friend and her face had astonishment on it.  "THEY LEFT WITHOUT US?!?!?!" 

And then I told her about the train. 

"5?!?!?!"

We told the old man about the situation and before we knew it he hailed one of the blue petit taxis for us and as was to be expected "Do you have a little change for your appreciation?" Hurriedly I dropped some money in his hand and got into the taxi with my friend. Our older gentleman told the driver where we wanted to go and we were off to the train station. 

We arrived at 6 minutes before 5.  Too close, too close.  The fare was about  11 Moroccan Dirhams, I had a 200 dirham bill.  Our driver said he had no change...

We had to get change with 6 minutes before the train left. We didn't know where we could go to get change and run out to meet him to pay for the fare and then get back to the station in time for the train. What to do?  He drove closer to the station near a taxi depot and luckily we found a driver who had change and exchanged it for us.  We payed our fare (and then some) and ran off to the station to buy our tickets.  1 minute to spare.  We ran to the train and luckily it was a full, an over full load so it wasn't leaving immediately.  We got on. 

When we were on the train we had to keep moving through the walk way which was inside the train but outside the small cubby rooms with seats.  There were no empty seats, this train was filled to the brim and more.  It was hot but I think most of my heat came from my frustration.  When the train was full we proceeded to move down the tracks.  My friend was eager to find out if we were on the right train so she began to practice her arabic asking the passengers around us if this was the one going back to Meknes. Eventually she found out that we had to transfer at another station later down the line and catch the Meknes train and that our total trip would be about 4 hours in time.  A nice long hot trip.  Seething frustration in me.  

I stood up in the walkway as did many of those near us but, my friend sat down as did some others around her.  She happened to sit next to a girl who earlier told her about the train transfer.  They began to talk and before you knew it they became friends (as did two other girls with my friend and two guys as well).  Though I didn't speak for the majority of that ride, I did listen, it was interesting. They wanted to hear American jokes and American songs, she was really Ms. Popular.  But, she has such an energy and vibe about her that I can't really say I'm surprised it happened.  The girls really wanted to get to know her and they seemed to click with her.  One guy though I had to hold my laughs inside.  He began talking and asking questions which quickly turned into "so are you married? why aren't you married? you should be married. what's your number in the states? your email?" it was weird.  Eventually he began talking to me and after a couple of minutes I was annoyed.  There are some people who talk to really get engaged in a conversation but then there are others who talk and don't hear a thing you say. They'll repeat the same questions to you 3 times and every time you try to answer they interrupt then ask the questions yet again.  This was the case with this guy.  

Anyways, though I was frustrated I was happy to see that my friend made friends and was able to take her mind off the situation we were in.  After a while, the first train ride was over and we waited on the platform along with one of the friends my friend made, a Moroccan gentleman in his mid to late 20's.  They talked for a bit until the next train came which we boarded.  On this one I was able to finally sit after my friend and her friend persuaded someone to allow me to have a seat. Too nice. During the rest of the ride while sitting next to my friend we discussed the whole situation at hand, what happened, how it happened...interesting times.  We arrived in Meknes a little after 9pm, the trip was long and still I was frustrated but looking back on it, this was an experience I didn't quite mind and it didn't kill me.  It was something I wouldn't have had if everything worked out "perfectly" and sometimes a person is placed in a situation they're not expecting that can actually be beneficial or insightful for them.  I think this is one of those situations. 

Trouble in Tangier

Yesterday turned out to be an interesting day.  This past weekend our group took a trip to Asilah (in Morocco) as a kind of vacation to get a free mind before the start of reviews, cramming and finals for this summer session. Asilah is a beautiful place, on the coast not far at all from Spain, in fact many of the Moroccans speak Spanish fluently here and it's not unusual to see a Spanish flag here or there.  Across from the hotel we roomed in was a beach and if we took a 15 minute walk on the boardwalk we'd reach an area which had an abundance of restaurants, most of which served fresh seafood.  

On Sunday (yesterday) we left Asilah and headed to Tangier to get another look at yet another Moroccan city.  This place as well was nice to behold although more urban and tighter packed than Asilah.  When the group arrived in the city and got off the bus our director gave a talk and some instructions about some things to do, places to go, and where to meet up at the end of our day at around 3:30pm. Unfortunately, I didn't here the ending location...

After the talk the group took a 10 minute walk to a square near the Tangier medina in front of the Cinema Rif and from there we were free to do whatever we pleased.  I along with a group of  about 6 broke off and went our own way in search of food for lunch before going to maybe Ibn Battuta's Mausoleum or the Museum of Tangier.  The majority of the group seemed to be looking for a certain type of food while a few of us wanted to just find a place that might have good food and simply try something new without any preset ideas of food types.  So I and two others went off on our own and found some western style food.  I ended up getting a burger with some fries; simple but filling and cheap.  We finished our food, talked for a bit and from there we departed in search of the Museum we were eagerly looking forward to. 

Something that really annoys me in tourist areas is that some people find a way to insert themselves into your daily activities even though you didn't invite them.  What's even more disappointing is that there will be individuals who are Muslims who attempt to take advantage of you.  In fact, it really gets me angry to be quite honest.  This happened yesterday.  While we were walking up a steep hill, maybe only 3 or 4 blocks from the museum, a guy says "Welcome to Morocco, you are welcome".  We respond by saying thank you and try to head on our way.  However, this guy continues near us and says "Tangier museum here, over here".  From our group of three one had been in the country for a longer period than us since he's been here since the last summer session.  He, out of his experience knew what I was thinking already, that being that this guy would continue to follow us and tell us where the museum was and then at the end would want money.  So, our more experienced group member suggested we slow down and let this faux tour guide go on his way so we wouldn't have to deal with him. 

When the "guide" was somewhat gone we continued on our way but, of course, he popped up again and was showing us the way once more. We continued on our way trying to lose him and we thought we did a little bit, however now a boy showed up and started giving us his tour.  As we walked he'd make mention of the walls, the doors, what one building and another was, and interspersed this with "take picture, go ahead my friend take picture of door, beautiful shot". And of course, the older guy shows up and now they're acting as two faux tour guides.  We decided that we'd just take "the tour" and pay them some dirhams and be on our way. The tour continued and culminated with us being led to a kind of cliff that overlooked the sea.  It was completely blue and there weren't too many ships in the area.  Honestly, the sight was magnificent though I don't think any words can do it justice. Soaking in the sight was hard to do though for me because I just wanted to shake these two (maybe they were older brother and younger?) off and explore without anyone leading the way.  Ah well, such is life, you deal with what's dealt to you. 

From the group of three, myself included, there was a Muslimah who has become a friend of mine.  While we were all viewing the sight below (two others from the larger group happened to be there at the same time so now we were 5) the adhaan began to be called and I wanted to go and make salat ul dhuhr.  We asked the "guides" where the masjid was and also asked them if they could find a spare hijab for the sister so she could make her salah as well.  Alhamdulilah they had one and the sister was able to make her dhuhr, albeit in a little box in the masjid that's reserved for the Muslimat...similar to many masajid throughout the world...

When we met outside I could see on her face she wasn't too happy, the cubicle masalla wasn't  to her liking. It seems like time and time again, I am given reminders of how blessed I am to have Imams who don't follow cultural traditions but practice an Islam that's based on their reading and best comprehension of the Qur'an and ahadith without any of the cultural baggage that so many, unfortunately carry. So, after chatting and walking for a bit, we "were led" to the museum, though we already knew where it was.  This game was really comical in a seriously annoying kind of way. The cost of admission was 10 dirhams a piece, not too bad for a museum.  The museum had some interesting artifacts, but in all honesty, it could've been better, and more should've been done with the available space.  It looked like it was once a Masjid but I'm not sure. We spent around 20 minutes in the museum and then we were out, we weren't too sure if we saw the entire thing but there didn't seem to be another entrance or door for us to go through so we headed out.  And of course who was waiting for us but our "tour guides"...

These guys were hard to shake off.  I forgot to mention that there was only two of the group now; myself and the sister since we went to make salah and the others went off to explore on their own. I was ready to just ditch the two guys and be on my way, I was really hot thinking about random people coming up to offer their services unasked then expecting money.  However, I had to hold my decorum as much as possible since I was with another person. I was ready to head back out of the medina to go to the plaza and get on with the rest of the trip but the guides wouldn't have it and I think my friend is just nice and didn't want to be rude to them.  They continued to take us through more and more alleyways into the areas of the shops and stores and even stopped at a rug store telling us to stop in for a look. I was becoming more and more heated with every turn they took.  My patience wore severely thin and I was thinking about our getting back to meet with the group in the right time so we wouldn't hold anyone up. Finally, we told them we had to go and it was now, not later.  They led us to the plaza area and gave their greetings then began asking for their money: 100 dirhams.  I wanted to say a few things to them for their even asking for money for services no one asked for. Normally I wouldn't mind paying for something and even giving tips since; we're all working and there's nothing wrong with supporting a person who's trying to make a way in their life.  However, this was different, they saw two people they could label as tourists and tried to run their game.  My friend didn't have money, I had more than enough so I decided to pay them...not 100 though.  We asked them to lower it, they said 80.  I laughed and said "no! 40". 

"40"?

"yes 40, 20 each, and that's it, that's all you're gonna get".  

I wasn't going to budge, I probably wouldn't have paid them at all if I was by myself to be honest.  After paying them I shook hands with the younger while glaring at both he and his "co-worker". 

"as salaamu alaikum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatu AKHI!"

I sometimes like to remind people that they've been trying to take advantage of their own brothers and sisters. It might not do something now, but in the future, when all is said and done and the reckoning begins, they'll have a lot to answer for. 

After this, we looked at the time and realized we had a lot to spare so we decided to go for a walk hoping to see the strait of Gibraltar.  Of course that was a distance away and we ended up in a park where we saw some Arabic writing on a huge tablet. Maybe about a meter and a half high and 2 and a half meters in length, divided into three columns.  On and around it, someone had sharpied "fake", or "fak" and drawn middle fingers. Guess they didn't like what was written on the tablet...  

While we continued reading a guy walked by us saying "bonjour, welcome, hello" then when he was a little off, out of nowhere he says "negro". Decorum, decorum, sometimes some people need to be kicked.  They need to be reminded that though they have authority over some people and can abuse them, not all who are like them are under their authority and further, they have no right to abuse people in the first place. I would've loved to have been his reminder. Decorum! Anyways, being a little tired, we decided to sit for a bit under a tree and just relax.  We had to meet at 3:30 and when it was 3 til, we decided to head out to Cinema Rif to meet the rest of the group. At 3:40 there was no one to be seen, 3:45 the same.  Really weird.  I went inside the Cinema Rif for a couple of minutes while my friend decided to wait outside and read at one of the tables.  I came out, still none from our group.  By 4:00 we decided that maybe the group was in the area where the bus dropped us off.  We walked there and by maybe 20 minutes arrived to see no one.  "Hmm, that sucks, this is really weird". We decided to walk back to the Rif thinking perhaps something was off about the timing.  When we got there and saw no one we realized that there was some trouble.  She became a little anxious and i was thinking of where they might be. My phone was completely dead and so I could make no calls nor receive any.  Incommunicado!