Mistaken perception

Once upon a time I had hope
But that was a hallucination gone up in smoke;
Powdery dreams like lines of coke.
Once when I would look in from the outside
I thought everything was so dignified,
I thought everything was done with pride.
Little did I expect the rude awakening,
The feeling of most of my world forsaking me
Or at least the method of how my thoughts were processing.
I used to dream with energy and vigor
Ready to take all the world’s rigors
If it meant raising us to something bigger.
Dreams filled with color and clarity
Every single detail covered unsparingly;
None of it could be touched by HDTV.
In the sunlight I could see the glow of fireflies,
Smell the slightest scent of the softest spice
But eventually my dream reached twilight,
Dreams are now nothingness. Night to day
I’m hit and I’m plagued
By nightmares that won’t go away,
I’ve become an insomniac
Afraid of sudden attacks
From left, right, front and back.
Demons of my optimism are haunting,
Pointing their fingers and they’re taunting me.
Their rotted faces leave me in a mess
I’m sprouting whites and grays by living frustrated distress.
These are the zombies of what I wanted to be part of,
They’re laughing and pointing,
Following and stalking,
Watching and waiting.
Once upon a time I dreamed of wonderful things
But now it seems
That I was just being naïve.
Sometimes I fall into this trap of mistaken perception
Often easily successful at self-deception,
Any touches of pessimism quickly going into recession.
My eyes see, my heart feels, my thoughts are clouded
Numbing my senses, regardless of how often alarms are sounded